Musica

I love the screeching sound of brass strings on an acoustic guitar.

Nothing calms me more.

Lately, I've become obsessed with music, it defines who we are,

Drowning sounds out with a giant musical roar.

I think I'm looking for something to be addicted to,

I tend to do that to clear absences.

Here is a list of songs that I can't stop listening to:

Thirteen-Big Star, Amie-Damien Rice, Vienna-Billy Joel, Growin' Up-Bruce Springsteen (thank you Mr. Mueller!), Monday, Monday-The Mamas and Papas, Fallin' For You-Colbie Caillat, Bicycle Race-Queen, Cool My Heels-Nikki Yanofsky, La Vie Boheme-RENT, Animal-Neon Trees, The Way You Make Me Feel-Michael Jackson, Teenagers-My Chemical Romance, She's Got Everything-The Kinks, Backdoor Man-The Doors, Can't Help Falling In Love-Elvis Presley, 'Till Then-Michael Buble...wow, I listed more than I thought I would..

Support

I always say that you need to have a good support system,

A real friend would love you until no end,

Cry with you when you have tears streaming down your face,

Laugh with you when you can't breathe because of laughter,

And sit with you in silence when you have no words to say.

My support system consists of the following bunch:

Sydney- My savior to no end, my love, my sister

Katherine- Best friend, biggest freaks in the world, neighbors, Ked

Sam- BESTIES, we have problems and we accept each other, Tham!

Alessandra- The one who makes me laugh so hard, I cry

Ava- My soul sister, my teacher, sluts ;)

Gretchen- My Orange County bestie, I miss her dearly

Poetry-Words Of Wisdom

Words Of Wisdom

By "Lulu"

They say that if you loved someone,

You never get over them.

If you do,

You never loved them.

"I never wanna see you unhappy,

I though you'd want the same for me.

Goodbye my almost lover, goodbye my hopeless dream,

I'm trying not to think about you, can't you just let me be?"

"Cause when you're fifteen, and somebody tells you they love you,

You're gonna believe them.

And when you're fifteen feeling like there's nothing to figure out,

Count to ten, take it in, this is life before you know who're you're gonna be,

At fifteen."

It seems like songs describe my feelings better than plain words.

This blazing fire will burn out in time,

I don't even know what "love" is.

What a stupid excuse for a word.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsWsasqIoyk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pb-K2tXWK4w

Poetry-Broken

Broken

By "Lulu"

It's...

Over.

You treated me mean,

Acted so obscene,

Yet why do I love you still?

I didn't want it to end this way,

I wanted to stay friends in the end.

I was so confused,

About your new thoughts that you mused,

You owe me an explanation.

You say you don't care about me anymore,

When I gave you my all, you say I was a lie.

Why be so immature?

My memories, now a blur,

Maybe I am pathetic.

What about the good times we had,

I was "hurting" you?

You didn't deserve to be mad,

About those stupid "feelings" you had,

And yet...I love you still.

Poetry-Hallucinating?

Hallucinating?

By "Lulu"

I'm starting to think your feelings have changed.

You have lost "that loving feeling".

Did I do something wrong to make you feel this way?

Am I imagining or making it a bigger deal than it is?

I miss it,

When the love was fresh.

We could talk for hours at a time, nonstop.

Now you don't even seem to bother.

I miss

You.

Your heartfelt sentiments,

Boy, I hope you aren't reading this.

God, I like you so much.

Please have the same feelings as the beginning,

I do want this so much to last,

Through all 7 innings.

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day

Well, for once in my life, I had a marvelous Valentine's Day.

It has been too long since my lonely nights with my best friends, eating to ease the sorrow.

My wonderful boyfriend played guitar for me,

My mom bought me tulips,

It was overall a gorgeous day.

I love tulips.

I love flowers,

But I believe a few simple words can beat a dozen tulips anyday.

The words are said too easily nowadays.

They say "hate" is a strong word, but they throw "love" around like it's nothing.

He is very wonderful,

The best I have seen in a while.

I almost let him go for a good friend,

I would have kicked myself forever,

But, I didn't, and I am ever so glad.

Interruption! Introduction!

So...This Is It.

It's my blog.

...Yeah.

Well, let me tell you "readers" out there a little bit about myself.

• I am proudly a Twilighter, get over it.
• Most of the time, I hate my mom.
• Religion, to be blunt, bores the hell out of me.
• My best friend is my only family sometimes.
• I love animals. Alot.
• I always wanted to join GirlScouts, but my mom argued it was too much money...it's free.
• I write poetry to get my crappy feelings out, and most of the time it works.
• Sometimes, I would much rather be inside on my bed, thinking, than outside getting sun.
• I LOVE MICHAEL JACKSON!
• When I hear sirens, I lose my train of thought completely.
• I come across as strong-willed, but the truth is, I'm too easily manipulated.

Poetry-Reaching for the Stars

Reaching for the Stars

By "Lulu"

I work so hard to reach it,

I dream about it every night,

It's all I think about,

It makes it so hard to concentrate on "the now".

The outcome cannot just happen on its own,

I must work for it, but there has to be some luck to it,

Or maybe it's God's will,

For now, I do not know, but I will work just in case.

This has been my dream for as long as I can remember,

I long so much to finally fulfill it,

And I hope to, one day,

So that I will be able to have a new dream.

Poetry-It's Just Not Fair

It's Just Not Fair

By "Lulu"

Death, one cannot avoid no matter how much you want to.

It is a spooky subject that can haunt you in your dreams,

Leaving you on the edge of your seat for the rest of your life,

Wasting your life being nervous.

But life is also inescapable.

The secret is to enjoy the ride,

Appreciate even the tiniest things,

To live, laugh, and love until that final day.

It is inevitable.

Poetry-How Typical of Us

How Typical of Us

By "Lulu"

When you step onto the borderline of our town,

You get this odd feeling of familiarity.

Maybe it's the hot, dry conditions,

Or the tumbleweeds and western plant life that you recognize.

Whatever it is, it's somehow comfortable.

We still have the old saloon as our little piece of old fashion,

And the one room school-house with our teacher of all grades.
The water isn't that fresh, and the plants don't seem to like it,

This is probably why they die so quickly.

But we still, call it home.

Once you leave, you might have that feeling of wanting to go back,

To a place which seems so typical of the country.

Like my home, the animals home, the plants' home,

And what could be your home.

If you fancy a western movie.

Poetry-Almost Livid

Almost Livid

By "Lulu"

Mother, I cannot express the way I feel,

For if I do, surely you would disagree,

A deep anger that I am sure is real,

You have caused to come across me.

I know you were going to just leave me here,

So you can be selfish and feel good again,

To run away brings me great fear,

But if you go, you're just like all of those other women.

The ones who leave to find a better life,

Lonely ones are forced to start life once more,

Except, I won't have a chance, your strife,

I will have nothing, no money, we're poor.

So I will not let you go, this is true,

For I will make sure to leave before you do.

Poetry-Closure

Closure

By "Lulu"

After it all happened, I didn't know what I could do.

I felt extreme grief, and I sat for days,

Letting every memory repeat itself over and over again.

I knew that I wasn't helping myself heal.

Wasn't there anything that I could do to ease this sorrow?

Over-analyzing the memories could not make them disappear.
I didn't want them to completely go away, though.
Just to not keep stinging me in this tender spot in my heart.


If I had done the right thing.
If he didn't tell her,
If we had never met,
Painfully playing the "if" game as if we could see into the future.


They say that I need closure,
But what, truly, is closure?
Do I close off my brain?
Will that rid me of my pain?